Sunday, September 18, 2005

Birthday Blabber

Another year passed in a blur. Wasn’t it just yesterday when you were ranting about your thesis? How you plagued the UPJC logbook with your I’m-sick-of-this-life entries! Reading your blog posts now, I can safely deduce that you haven’t matured a bit. Remember Malthus’s assertion? That the growth of food production is linear while that of population is exponential and so we’ll starve sooner or later? You’re kinda like that. Your physical maturation is exponential but mentally? Tsk tsk, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do. And don’t accuse me of committing false analogy. You’re taking your Philo I way too seriously.

So many things happened within a year. You finished college, thanks God. You reunited with him, landed a job, squandered your first paycheck. I sure hope you learned something from those milestones. Why are you giving me that look? I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic… That’s better than your sister’s advice to “(Sigh) Grow up,” the day your unbreakable (or so you thought) tough girl mask fell and you cried cried cried ‘til your tear glands dried. And the reason was – what was it again? Ah, that you hate your job and you want to quit and that you deserve something better. Just where did you get that stupidly egoistic idea? Anyway, I agree with your sister…

Growing up. Why, you look like you’re talking of a different dimension when you utter those two words! What are you afraid of? Change? Well, if it weren’t for change, we’d still be living in caves now. Growing old, probably? I know how you feel every time you see children playing, or being fed by their parents. It’s like the feeling you get when you miss a bus/jeep/FX. You chase the speeding vehicle with your gaze and think, “I could have been in that one.” But it’s not like you missed that time of your life. You were a nasty little rascal then (you still are). You see, growing up doesn’t necessarily mean growing old and boring. It just so happened that they take place at almost the same time. That means you don’t really have to forego the pleasure of using your rubber shoes and Pucca bag. You just have to control the urge of wearing them with your business attire, suit and all. It doesn’t mean you have to change your self or abandon your beliefs. It just means you have to learn how to adjust your sails a little. Don’t go against the wind.

Geez, I’m getting too preachy. And for what? You won’t listen anyway. You’d still be the whiny bitch you’ve always been, ranting about everything, believing you’re the best despite all the signs showing otherwise. I give up. Maybe you shouldn’t be contemplating your self in the mirror too much. You’re only reminded of the things you’d rather forget (i.e., wrinkles and fine lines).

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