Sunday, March 12, 2006

Comfort Room

Hindi ako iyakin. Noong bata pa ako, hindi ako umiiyak kahit pagtulungan pa ako ng mga bully kong kaklase. Nakakahiya kasi. Paniwala ko, isang kahinaan ang pag-iyak. Para bang hindi ko kayang alagaan ang sarili ko. Isa pa, wala namang mabuting idudulot iyon. Mamumula lang ang mga mata ko.Uusisain lang ako ng mga makakakita.
Natuto akong magpanggap. Pili ang emosyong hinayaan kong makita -- tuwa at galit lang, kung may iba man, iyon ay tuwang-tuwa, galit na galit, medyo natutuwa, at medyo galit. Kapag medyo na-touch ako sa pinanood sa TV o pelikula, palihim din ang pagluha ko. Minsan kasi, tinawanan ako ng mga pinsan ko. Sabi ko tuloy, "Marumi lang ang mata ko, kailangang linisin." Ewan. Hindi naman ako lalake.
Iilan pa lamang ang taong nakakita sa pag-iyak ko. Maliban sa mga kapamilya, dalawa lang siguro. Nitong mga nakaraang araw, napapadalas ang pag-iyak ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Naging masyado na yata akong emosyonal. Pero siyempre, patago pa rin.
Kanina, paglabas ko sa banyo nasita ako. "Bakit mapula ang mata mo?" Sagot ko na lang, "Mahapdi sa mata yung shampoo e."

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Almost Absent

...on my second day at work. All because of the blasted student ID that didn't make its existence felt. I don't have a company ID yet and although I have an entry permit, I'm still required to present a valid ID (who says a student ID is not valid when you've been a graduate for a year?). Good thing the guard accepted my Laking National Card plus 1x1 picture. You may call it resourcefulness. I say it's charm.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Simple Wants

If you were to die in three days, what would you want to do? Phil Keoghan (No Opportunities Wasted) asked that on Oprah a couple of weeks ago. I realized I'm one of many who wouldn't know how to answer it, so I made a list of the things I'd like to experience before "I face my final curtain." I must have spent two days making the list up. Man, if I were really to die in three days, I'd only have a day to do the things I thought of! It's crazy.

1) sing and dance in the rain. I used to do this when I was a kid, and I'd do it naked. Too bad, I have to let go of the naked part now...
2) visit a foreign country. Probably France or Italy, and maybe infuse some romance into my veins in the process.
3) cook something special for someone. The most complicated bit of cooking I've done for someone was tortang talong. Don't laugh. This recipe involves two stages -- roasting the eggplant and frying it with egg. For someone with below-average culinary capacity, that requires a lot of effort.
4) try an extreme sport. No opportunity has presented itself so far.
5) witness a meteor shower. And I don't need any of the F4 guys to enjoy it.
6) appear on TV. (...?)
7) give birth. Whoa!
8) live in a totally different environment. In a place with no cell phones and computers and TVs...
9) walk down the aisle. Someone said that walking down the aisle is the greatest form of excercise one could take. I say it's a Death March. Or a prelude to a lifetime of torture. I'm willing to inflict it nonetheless (insert evil laugh here).
10) make other people happy. The believability factor of this one must be closer to nil after reading #9... Sure, I'm a jaded and self-centered *itch, but I do try to not make life difficult for others. (With the possible exception of my mom, who I suppose has gotten used to me and my antics anyway.)

One dream experience that is sure to benefit humanity but didn't quite make it to the list is -- bang Dubya's and Gloria's heads against each other. I'll be content doing that to any of them, with a little help from a wall or something. Uh, is that inciting to sedition?