Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Anderweyt

My latest visit to a physician revealed that I am underweight. I’m actually 2.5 kilos (yes, you read that right) short of my ideal weight. And I’m not bragging. Whoever popularized the idea that being thin is beautiful must be crazy, but those who bought the idea are crazier. Really, what is desirable about being waif-like?
So now the Weight Loss Industry is making a killing in the market. A whole line of products and services were developed to help people become “better people,” as if obesity is a criminal offense. And because those behind the industry wanted to help, they have devised different approaches for different types of people – for the lazy majority, there are miracle pills and fat eliminators; for the health-conscious few, there are diet and exercise systems; and for the rest, there’s Lindsay Lohan.
I’ve never been a weight-watcher. I never count my cups of rice, so why bother with calorie count? Sometimes I devour food good enough for three people, never minding that Gluttony is one of the Deadly Capital Sins. But isn’t it a greater sin to deliberately starve myself and let food go to waste when half of the people on this planet is dying of hunger?
My weight loss went unnoticed for some time, even with the fact that my pants, one by one, screamed for a belt. I thought they were just old and worn, and as my Mom puts it, “lustred.” Loose thread. Whatever. Until I met some old friends who commented on how thin I looked. So for the first time in ages, I actually checked my waistline with a tape measure. True enough, I’m now an emaciated version of the eighteen-year old me. But then, the eighteen-year old me was bloated anyway, so I guess I’m not in a very bad shape at present. I wonder how that happened, when I’ve been cultivating a very sedentary lifestyle and violating every Healthy Eating Tips from the Xenical brochure. (My possession of which is rather anomalous, hehe.)
I quote:
1. Avoid heavy fried food breakfast.
2. Avoid eating meals with big portions.
3. Avoid eating high-fat foods. Skip butter or mayonnaise on sandwiches and toast…
4. Avoid frying foods.
5. Don’t eat junk foods like chocolate bars and chips.
6. Minimize alcohol intake since it is high in calories.
7. Read labels and aim to buy foods with 5 grams of fat or less per serving.
8. Avoid creamy dishes and heavy desserts…
9. If you can’t avoid fast foods, eat simple choices in smaller portions i.e. order a regular burger, share a dessert with someone, eat half a hamburger or order a small-sized French fries.

And there are prescribed “correct food portions to eat” -- pancake about the size of a compact disc, garlic bread about the size of a facial soap, 1 ½ ounces cheese about the size of a 9-volt battery (huh?), etc.

How are we to survive if we follow all that? We’ll all suffer from memory gap I suppose (“Bawal ang pork…”).

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