Friday, June 01, 2012

Hello, June brides! (or, Good luck, beechez!)

And just like that, it’s June! Aside from being a back-to-school month, June is also known as the wedding month. Statistically, however, there are more December brides than June brides. 

I’d love to get married someday. But unless the Family Code is amended, or the human race wakes up suddenly enlightened, I’m afraid that that day will never come. So in the meantime, I will stay jaded and promise not to harbor any illusions about tying the knot.

Dearly Beloved
Good morning, dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To watch two people we know make a big mistake
They'll stand up at the altar
And solemnly swear i do
They'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new

Her daddy's in the front row
Muttering "Oh no, here we go again
They had a couple dates
Now she's three months late
And it's twenty buck a plate i spent, oh."

Good morning, dearly beloved
I'd like to welcome y'all
To see the side effects of sex and alcohol
Please bow your heads and join me
In a prayer for these two
Who'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new

The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he's putting the ring on her
He's checking out the bridesmaids
Thinking that he might take
The maid of honor's honor, oh.

Welcome, dearly beloved
We are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two
Drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper
And a dragging muffler too
They'll be together forever
Until they find somebody new

So raise your glass and join me
Here's to the bride and groom
They'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new.


  1. Do you know what comes after June brides?

    March babies.

  2. at nagbilang talaga ako. hahaha! hi chay! :)


Something to say?