Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Law School ("Payphone" by Maroon 5 Parody)

 by Chocolate Ghost House





Hahaha. Ang benta! Also, this Tyler guy is so adorbs. :-)

Transcript of lyrics below:

Monday, February 25, 2013

Why I should grow my hair back

1. A total stranger told me, "Ang pogi naman ni Ma'am." And I was wearing a shirt with low neckline, and modesty aside, I do have a hint of cleavage there somewhere. LOL.
Meron talaga, natakpan lang ng pendant. Hahaha.
2. I'm starting to look like this guy during muay thai sessions:

Maybe I should take Zumba or pole dancing instead.
3. I still don't like wearing dresses.
4. I'm too lazy to even start learning how to apply make up.
5. Ah, never mind. I feel so much lighter without my fluffy hair. Tipid pa sa shampoo.




Sunday, February 24, 2013

Exile

by Hart Crane

My hands have not touched pleasure since your hands,—
No,—nor my lips freed laughter since 'farewell',
And with the day, distance again expands
Voiceless between us, as an uncoiled shell.

Yet love endures, though starving and alone.
A dove's wings cling about my heart each night
With surging gentleness, and the blue stone
Set in the tryst-ring has but worn more bright.


*******

Come Here - Kath Bloom by Before Sunset And Sunrise on Grooveshark


Friday, February 22, 2013

Dead Stars

I was listening to Stars’ Your Ex-Lover is Dead last night, feeling dejected at how empty the night skies had been for two nights.

Then I remembered this sad story. Word association.

He could not understand those months of a great hunger that was not of the body nor yet of the mind, a craving that had seized on him one quiet night when the moon was abroad and under the dappled shadow of the trees in the plaza, man wooed maid. Was he being cheated by life? Love--he seemed to have missed it. Or was the love that others told about a mere fabrication of perfervid imagination, an exaggeration of the commonplace, a glorification of insipid monotonies such as made up his love life? Was love a combination of circumstances, or sheer native capacity of soul? In those days love was, for him, still the eternal puzzle; for love, as he knew it, was a stranger to love as he divined it might be.

Sitting quietly in his room now, he could almost revive the restlessness of those days, the feeling of tumultuous haste, such as he knew so well in his boyhood when something beautiful was going on somewhere and he was trying to get there in time to see. "Hurry, hurry, or you will miss it," someone had seemed to urge in his ears. So he had avidly seized on the shadow of Love and deluded himself for a long while in the way of humanity from time immemorial. In the meantime, he became very much engaged to Esperanza.

Why would men so mismanage their lives? Greed, he thought, was what ruined so many. Greed--the desire to crowd into a moment all the enjoyment it will hold, to squeeze from the hour all the emotion it will yield. Men commit themselves when but half-meaning to do so, sacrificing possible future fullness of ecstasy to the craving for immediate excitement. Greed--mortgaging the future--forcing the hand of Time, or of Fate.

Read the full story here.




Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Amen!


"You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go." ~ Daniell Koepke





OPM FTW! :-)

Last night we saw the goddesses of Pinoy music -- Bayang Barrios, Cookie Chua, and Lolita Carbon -- collectively known as Tres Marias, in the most amazing gig I’ve ever been to.

Php300 lang ang entrance fee and we were treated to fantastic performances from the three ladies. May bonus pang Gary Granada at Wally Gonzales of Juan Dela Cruz Band. Also worth mentioning are Ronnie (not sure, dinig ko Robin e) Padilla the harmonica player, and the Tres Marias band.

Conrado de Quiros was there, and some familiar faces from the UP faculty.

Bayang Barrios. I wasn’t a fan until last night. This is my favorite from her repertoire:


I can’t remember Cookie Chua’s songs, except for her band’s 90s hit, “Paglisan’. She was hilarious though. Parang lasheng lang. Haha.

My favorite part of the night was when the ladies first performed as a trio, with a rocking rendition of The Beatles’ Oh, Darling! Amazeballs.

And this. Lolita Carbon still has it.


Note: First part was edited out because of inappropriate comments. LOL.   

Maraming salamat, Tin for this belated birthday treat. Sana araw-araw birthday ko. Hehehe. Aylabyu! *hugs*





Monday, February 18, 2013

The Guest House


Rumi


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


*******

Ah, Rumi. You really have something for everything. :-)

Note to self: Don't be resentful. You had part in the violent sweeping. There is a lesson to be learned from all this. Master it. You may not be able to laugh now, but you will. You must.

"You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went; you can swear and curse fates. But when it comes to the end, you have to let go." ~ Benjamin Button




Blast from the past

Seven years ago I came up with this list.

Below is something I found in relation to Item # 6. I can't believe it's been four years. Medyo babyface pa ako rito.* Nyahaha.




*Two seconds of fame at 1:03 and 1:45.


Amalayer

I’m not a liar. I prided myself in always telling the truth, no matter how much it hurt. Perhaps it’s not out of strict morality shiz, but more for my convenience. It is hard to lie, there’s always the danger of making a slip somewhere along the way. One of my favorite sayings is “If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.”* And I also think trust is like Humpty Dumpty. If you break it, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put it together again. LOL. But seriously. People get surprised when they find out I’m taking up law because lawyers are liars, and since I’m not a good liar I won’t be a good lawyer. Woot. Logic. But there is some grain of truth in this. As Prof. T said in one of his lectures ages ago, legal truth is very different from moral truth. I still find it hard to reconcile this. I’m not sure if I ever will. 

Well, I guess the correct thing to say is "I was not a liar." For the past few weeks I have spun a web of untruth. The lies I’ve told, albeit unintentionally, are now catching up with me. I should have listened to my friends. But no, I was an askwhole.** The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.

What they said:

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Ginawa mo yan sa sarili mo e.”

“Ikaw kasi. Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“Honesty is the best policy. Always!”

“We make choices and live with the consequences.”


Yes, you succeeded in messing me up. I’m messed up (that’s a given), but I mean, more than the usual.

Oh well. The only thing left to do is repair the damage and resurrect the idealist version of myself while learning to accept that the world isn't black or white.





*Mark Twain
** A person who asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.





Friday, February 15, 2013

pffft.

source


Life and Death and Knowledge

Gabriel Gadfly 


I.
You have only these hours and days.

II.
When you accept them,
you have no need of
afterlives or priorlives.
You have the single empty box
of a life and all the universe
to fill it with.

III.
Live like this: there is an end to you.
Don’t fear it. Don’t wallow.
Flowers wilt. Rivers dry up.
Even the stars extinguish themselves.
Have your time and then let it go.

IV.
Do not shy from your ending
with mad horse eyes.

V.
Allow the box of your life,
when you have filled it,
to have its spaces.
Resist the temptation
to stuff the gaps with gods
who do not know you.

VI.
Pull Uncertainty into your arms
and kiss her on the lips:
too many neglect her,
but she is an eager lover,
and desires only your attention.
Let her teach you how to say
“I don’t know, and that is beautiful.”

VII.
You have only these minutes and years.



Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Hearty Breakfast


6:44AM. I woke up to a friend’s* call saying she’s outside my apartment. She’s in her jogging outfit, I could tell from the way she looked that she’s tired. Not from the physical exhaustion brought about by jogging, but by something else. She rarely calls me except to berate me about my indiscretions, and finding her near my place is very uncommon to say the least. She’s tired, alright. Mentally, emotionally.

“Can we have breakfast? Treat ko.”

“Okay. I have work at 8:30 though.”

“Okay lang, we’ll be quick.”

A few steps down the road she asked, “Have you ever kissed somebody else while you are in a relationship with someone?”

“Uhm… My parents? Do you seriously have to ask?”

And she went off ranting about her significant other who did just that seven months ago, had a slip last night and inadvertently confessed.

Oh I know how that feels. Sucks man. We have an almost identical view of love, as a verb,** a conscious effort, something you decide to do and continually fight for.

“There were a lot of temptations, but I did not act on them because I was with him. Nangyari na rin sayo yun di ba? You get attracted to people…”

“Uhm, no. I don’t even get to have crushes. Seriously. Nasa isang tao na yung heart ko e kaya hindi na nagfu-function for others. Boom! Hahaha.”

“Talaga lang a. Haha. Pero you get my point, right?”

“Oo naman.”

“Tangina. Tangina talaga. We agreed that if there’s a third party we’d be honest with each other. Tangina. I mean, every time we kiss or have sex, he could be thinking of that other person.”

And various other angry expletives from her end.

“Chill ka lang. There’s no use being angry. Ikaw lang ang mada-damage e, hindi naman yung kinagagalitan mo.”

We walked out of the fastfood and everywhere there were flowers for sale.

“Shit. Fucking Valentines. Shit.”


************



Several hours later, over BBM.


 
“Good job to us! I’m feeling great right now. Okay na ako sa idea na hiwalay na kami. Yehey!”

“Hahaha. May relapse pa yan, trust me.”

“Actually, wala na. I don’t need anyone who couldn’t give me the same kind of loyalty and respect I give him. Life is too short to spend with someone like that.”

“Amen.”




*identity withheld upon request

**"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18








Love After Love

by Derek Walcott


The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.






Happy hearts' day, my dear heart. :)





Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Dream Deferred

by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Yesterday




Monday, February 11, 2013

Cause tonight's the night the world begins again*

You have to be passionate at what you do. You reach for your dream or you don’t; never do anything halfheartedly, but you also have to know when to stop. If after everything, you know you are no longer happy, that's a sign for you to take stock of where you are and change directions. Your unhappiness will show. It will reflect on your work, so steer yourself out before your unhappiness with what you are doing consumes you.

******

I wrote that three years ago, but it is only now that I’ve mustered enough courage to follow my own advice. Life is funny. Some people think I’m foolish, deciding to walk out of law school with barely three months left before graduation. For weeks I was neck-deep in doubt, I thought maybe they are right and maybe I’m being immature and I should perhaps just plod along. One of my closest friends used the family card on me -– “Think of your parents, your family. They’re counting on you.” “I sent myself to school,” I angrily snapped. Non sequitur, but I was a bit offended. I know I’m not the most diligent student and I’ve been sleepwalking through most of law school but it’s not like I’m letting anyone, most of all my parents, down by taking a break.** I know they would prefer my well-being over graduating on time. I was on the verge of insanity. Drag me to hell ang drama ko every single class. I fucked up the midterm exams because of my chronic inability to focus. I wasn’t able to study although I had more time. The textbooks became random hodgepodge of words and phrases, the provisions of law made no sense. Forcing myself to concentrate was futile. One morning I went to a coffee shop to study, only to end up doing a mental treatise on cloud formation after observing the skies for most part of the day. While taking the Poli exam I knew I had to stop. There wasn’t even an attempt to do creative writing like I used to (haha). I left two items blank (20 points. Boo.) and the rest of my answers were cringe-worthy. It was LOA or bust.

“You seem lighter these days.”

Indeed. There is something extremely liberating about learning that your life is your own, that you can decide for yourself, that you can take control of your circumstances.*** I hope to keep it that way when I return to school next sem. Or maybe it’s just the haircut. Hahaha.


Yes. :-)

*pasintabi sa Goo Goo Dolls

**Conversation between me and my mom when I showed up unannounced at her doorstep last Saturday because I needed a hug:
Me: Hindi muna ako ga-graduate this April.
Mumi: Okay lang, at least nandito si Papa pag nag-march ka next year.
And with my dad:
Me: Pa, hindi muna ako ga-graduate ha.
Papa: E bakit ka ba nagmamadali? Relax ka lang.

***I’ve had a copy of the Holstee Manifesto in my work station for months and yey, I’m finally paying attention.




Wednesday, February 06, 2013

YOLO



source

"The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow. It eliminates the vice of procrastination, the sin of postponement, failed communications, failed communions." ~Anais Nin

Saturday, February 02, 2013

pep talk and petiks


"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours.

~ Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged


Amen.


**********

I don't think a museum visit is a proper thing to do when you're supposed to be studying for Poli Law Rev midterms, but sometimes you need to, uhm, shrug. Hehe.

It's easy to fall into the how-little-our-government-cares-for-art-and-culture rant when you see the deplorable state of local museums but yeah, art is art. The mere existence of spaces wherein various expressions of our humanity can be beheld and appreciated is enough to be thankful for. 

Like UP's Vargas Museum. Php20.00 entrance fee to see the on-going exhibits on the first floor as well as the Permanent Collection on the second. Not bad.

The exhibit runs until February 9th

 "All at once, it [MalacaƱang] is a cradle of power, a den of thieves; it is a spectacle, an extravaganza and an embarassment; it is a trap that only the most artful dodgers can rig and escape." ~ Antares Gomez Bartolome, Curator

Sampaguita: Utang Na Loob by Nina Laurel

And I just had to touch it. Pasaway.

Rigodon by Leo Abaya


I wanted to take more pictures but I won't do the artworks justice so huwag na lang. Besides I should really be studying.








Stars: Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Give It






There's been a lot of talk of love
But that don't amount to nothing
You can evoke the stars above
But that doesn't make it something

And the only way to last

And the only way to live it
Is to hold on when you get love,
And let go when you give it... give it.